While we may make light of the term crazy, (as it relates to women losing their cool with the men they like), it’s a REAL thing. So many women are guilty of going overboard for men that haven’t committed to them or men that haven’t even showed any kind of serious interest. I’m not talking about a guy you’ve been dating for a while, or even a guy who may have led you into believing you and him could’ve grown into a serious thing. I’m going back to the Non-Existent Boyfriend. You know, the guy who’s not your man and he’s made it clear through his actions.
Going “crazy”, or rather, reacting irrationally over situations that don’t require much of your energy, never works in your favor because let’s face it, you’re usually the only one left in La La Land without a clue as to where you fit in, in his life. I’ve listed 10 tell-tale signs that let you know your “crazy” needs a bit of controlling. These signs aren’t limited to the only crazy behaviors that occur, but these tend to be the most common– take heed:
#10- You still say to friends, “Girl, I’m crazy.”
While you may be comfortable saying this to your closest girlfriends, there’s nothing emotionally healthy about acting crazy over a guy you see no potential future with. Getting out of the habit of saying things like, “I’m crazy“, will mentally prepare you to control your actions in how you react when the guy you have interest in upsets you.
#9- You randomly text your Non-Existent Boyfriend and tell him it was an “accident”.
Give your Non-Existent Boyfriend the credit he’s due. He knows when you’re telling a white lie or pretending to feel one way and not what he expects based on your normal behavioral routines. Texting your Non-Existent Boyfriend an insignificant text like, “I’m on the way.” and then retracting it with, “Oops! Wrong person.” says to him that you’re seeking attention, and if you’re not an eight year-old, this doesn’t work. Be mindful of the small, silly things you do because they carry weight in how you’re perceived. If he thought you were smart when he met you, he’ll also know you’re intelligent enough not to make that kind of rookie mistake.
#8- You search your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s social media page frequently.
Cut this out. This will only annoy you, especially if he’s not reaching out to you on a consistent basis and you see him having fun. Stay away from his day-to-day activities if he’s not involving you in it. There’s a reason the two of you aren’t sharing the Piña Colada in the picture he posted– it’s made for ONE. Besides, you may accidentally like the picture he posted, and then what? #Busted
#7- (#8 continued) You read all of the comments on his pictures.
You can’t 100% tell a woman or friend’s position in your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s life by the comments they leave– you simply can’t. Stop playing Investor Gadget and get a grip. Tame your nosiness on this one because you’re only tangling the wires in your brain for NO good reason. Believe it or not, the one’s usually leaving comments on his page aren’t that significant. If they were, he wouldn’t be a Non-Existent Boyfriend to them either.
#6- (#7 continued) You search for an ex by clicking on profiles that seem flirty.
Again, stay clear of being a spy. You DON’T know what you DON’T know.
#5- You lose your cool and lash out on your Non-Existent Boyfriend through text…(then apologize).
Words are powerful…(I’ll say that again)… WORDS ARE POWERFUL! Never, ever lash out on your Non-Existent Boyfriend trough text by putting him down, telling him how he hurt/disappointed you or try to correct his behavior with your Dr. Phil views. If you must take that route, for whatever reason, stand by your words and don’t reach out again. Your words lose merit when you do that and you end up in the losing seat by looking crazy. Let your Non-Existent Boyfriend know that you meant what you said, and that’s that.
#4- You drive by your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s house to see what mysterious car is in his driveway/lot.
Big NEGATIVE. Can’t stress this one enough. Never had a restraining order put out against you? You will if you’re caught doing this. If you have to spy on him, chances are, you’re not the one for him and you’re only wearing your heart thin.
#3- You call your Non-Existent Boyfriend from a non-disclosed number and hang up.
Still stuck in the 6th grade? It’s time to graduate! What does hearing his voice do? Tell you he’s not busy? Tell you he’s available? Playing phone games solves one thing: You know he’s alive…and you KNEW that already.
#2- You cry/whine to your Non-Existent Boyfriend when you feel neglected.
The fastest way to run your Non-Existent Boyfriend away is to kill him with your tears. Sure, we all get a bit emotional from time-to-time, but crying to someone you want to pursue very early-on suggests that you’re not equipped to handle real life situations if you and him were to ever get serious. If you feel a little extra emotional on Tuesday, reach out to him on Wednesday once you’ve slept on the situation and gathered your thoughts.
#1- You post viral memes, quotes and/or videos to social media in hopes that your Non-Existent Boyfriend reads it and gets a message from it… (he never reads it.)
Don’t suddenly turn into Oprah through social media. Wearing your heart on your sleeve for the world to see shows that you have a hard time containing your emotions and thoughts. This isn’t to say you can’t post memes and quotes that you like, but don’t do it immediately after a rough patch with your Non-Existent Boyfriend. If you’re hoping he’ll see and suddenly run in your arms, you’re wrong. He may see it and ignore it, or he may never see it at all.
So there you have it. If any of these warning signs apply to you, no need to fret. Retract your emotional behaviors and follow my advice. Trust me, you’ll have your Non-Existent Boyfriend wondering if he’s even all he thought he was cracked up to be.
Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),