Let’s get right into this topic! We know there’s nothing worse than when you’ve made solid plans with someone and then suddenly, they cancel the arrangement for whatever bogus reason. This is DOUBLY worse when it happens with your Non-Existent Boyfriend… (*that asshole!) I already know the perfect little scenario that played out. You knew what you were going to wear hours, or even days, before the time of your date. You made sure you cleared your calendar for that day/time and you were reasonably happy that you’d be spending time with the guy you’ve been digging for a little while. Suddenly, on the day you thought magic would arise, your Non-Existent Boyfriend disappeared faster than your mascara could dry. While there could be several reasons why he pulled a stunt like this, that’s not for you to investigate or figure out. The most important thing here, is how you’ll react as a result of your Non-Existent Boyfriend flaking.
Whether he failed to call, failed to show up at the agreed destination, or a combination of both, you must control your emotions in a way that will not have you flying off the edge, or even worse, your Non-Existent boyfriend dismissing your feelings and calling you “crazy”. For starters, if your Non-Existent Boyfriend vanishes, let him reach out to YOU. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “It’s not right! He HAS to know what he did!” (Uhhh…news flash: HE DOES!) This doesn’t mean you’ll look ridiculous if you call/text to see if maybe he got lost or got into an accident. It means once you’ve realized he’s not keeping up with his end of the bargain and your plans are no longer happening, back down and let him contact you with his justification. This is important because it will give you time to yell, vent to a friend, talk to yourself or even shed a crocodile tear. In other words, give yourself room to let the steam blow off. If you call/text him in anger, you may never get the answer you’re deserving of.
When your Non-Existent Boyfriend reaches out to you, (because they always do) this is the opportune time to control your crazy and state your case. When dealing with a person that lets you down in this kind of way, let them have the floor first. By letting him speak on the situation before you do, it’ll allow you to listen to whatever B.S. he musters up. More importantly, you don’t want to lead and say something that’ll give him an idea to concoct a story that sounds good. After he presents his case, let him know that you wasted a perfectly cute outfit, a pedicure and beautiful face that was made up for a night out. Also let him know that you’re aware things come up, but you appreciate it when people call or text to cancel a plan; it’s a boss move. On that note, cut the conversation short and tell your Non-Existent Boyfriend he caught you at a busy time when you were about to head out (give no specifics). If he tries to arrange for another meet up, tell him you’ll get back to him IF you can. This puts you in a position where you’re not looking like a liar or going tit-for-tat with silly behaviors.
See, by controlling your emotions, you’ll just prove that no guy on this planet can get the best of you because he didn’t show up to the Olive Garden. Sure, it was rude of him, and sure he deserves to be yelled at. The reality is, your Non-Existent Boyfriend is not a child, (contrary to popular belief) and you won’t get away with lecturing him. Your calm and stern attitude will show that you don’t like to be disrespected, but because you’re a grown up, you’ll take it in stride, and best of all, you’ll cut him off afterwards. Don’t let your ego convince you that you need to behave irrationally or prove a point when he can’t act right. Choose the best words that are appropriate for your Non-Existent Boyfriend and for the particular situation. Decide what’s important to say and if he’s important enough to be a part of your life. This is a hard pill to swallow, but trust; in no time, you’ll be swatting away the inconsiderate Non-Existent Boyfriends like annoying fleas.
Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),