There’s nothing more annoying than when you’re just getting around to knowing your Non-Existent Boyfriend on a more serious level, and he disappears like David Copperfield. Your gut instantly tells you to confront him on his actions by calling him on the phone until he answers or by sending a text message that expresses how serious you are about life, your future and all the things he doesn’t want to hear from you. While I’d like to tell you this doesn’t happen all the time, I’d be lying…like SERIOUSLY lying. Non-Existent Boyfriends go ghost on great women day-in and day-out. It’s like a secret part-time job they occupy without clocking in or getting paid.
Like I always stress, it’s never your job to figure out the “why”. The “why” could be anything. Your job is how to respond to the Non-Existent Boyfriend that goes ghost, in a way that’s controlled, emotionless and firm. Now because some Non-Existent Boyfriends do the same things to single women all across world, guess what else is the same? You got it—their universal text messages. While some may vary, for the most part, you’ll understand what I mean by deciphering which texts you’ve received before and more importantly, how to react when it happens again.
Here are 3 of the most common text messages Non-Existent Boyfriends send when they come out from hiding, and ways you can respond to it without looking senseless and emotional:
Text Message #1: “Hey/Hey You”
This is the all-time classic text when your Non-Existent Boyfriend resurrects. This text message is simply saying, I have nothing meaningful to say and I’m going to play it safe. If I say “hi”, I can feel you out and work my way in from there.
Your Controlled Response: “Hey”
A mirrored response from you doesn’t show that you’re weak or not strong enough to call your Non-Existent Boyfriend out. Instead, it lets your Non-Existent Boyfriend know that you’re all ears to what he has to say AND he’ll really have to work to figure out how to explain his disappearing act. Texting him with something like, Hey Stranger or Wow. Where have you been? is only stating the obvious and may lead to a potential argument where you get emotionally enraged. Tread lightly.
Text Message #2: “I Miss You/Thinking About You”
This text message from your Non-Existent Boyfriend means, I miss the intimacy we use to have OR Since we never got the chance to be intimate, I’d like to try again.
Your Controlled Response: “Thank you!”
This lets your Non-Existent Boyfriend know that you’re not here for the bullshit. When you give him a controlled response like this, it’ll push his ego to the side and force him to come up with a new tactic. Saying he misses you is not enough for him disappearing. Thank him for his oh-so mushy feelings, and wait for the next response he musters up. This sets the foundation of the conversation and prepares him for your firmness.
Text Message #3: “Hey Beautiful OR a flirtatious emoji”
This complimentary text or emoji is simply to butter you up and put a smile on your face. Most women like to be praised for their beauty or personality, so your Non-Existent Boyfriend assumes you’re no different. He’ll try to praise you with a compliment to make up for his absence or because we’re living in an electronic world, he’ll send a silly emoji to lighten any tension. What you never want to do is respond with question marks, a devil emoji or simply go-in on the attack. Again, give your Non-Existent Boyfriend an emotionless response that’ll force him to apologize for his rudeness.
Your Controlled Response:
It’s not complicated. This response works again and goes so far because you’re acknowledging that you’re listening. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend can’t tell if you’re mad, happy or accepting of his silly text. When he responds after that, because he will, you simply answer his basic questions until it leads to where you want it. You don’t go crazy after question #3 though! As an alternative, you control the conversation by affirming that your life is pleasant, you still require respect and you’re moving along with the world because you can’t be bogged down by a flaky friend.
The key in all this is, getting a grip of feelings that will continuously give you a migraine, and regulating the foolishness that unfortunately comes with dating sometimes. Again, it’s not about being weak or timid to say how you feel, but let’s face it. Does a Non-Existent Boyfriend who disappears even need all of your energy and emotional power? I didn’t think so.
Take a breather, brace yourself, and prepare to always react in a controlled state that still relays, “I’m not here for the bullshit today. (*Insert emoji blank face)”
Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),