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Say What?! Your Non-Existent Boyfriend Didn’t Invite You to the Cookout

Labor Day just passed and your Non-Existent Boyfriend was behind the grill, (or at least watching the grill) at a backyard barbeque. He was laughing, drinking, having a good time and playing games without you anywhere in sight. You on the other hand, were hoping he’d suggest the two of you spend time that day while you both lick sauce from your fingers over a chicken leg… (quite the opposite my dear!)

It’s not that you’re not barbeque-party-worthy, or that you wouldn’t look good on his side walking slowly through charcoal smoke, but these moments, (for some Non-Existent Boyfriends), are for women who may potentially be around for a little time as a friend, or even something more. Now this is not to say that if you get an invite to a function with close family and friends that you’re somehow his future wife. It’s just in some cases, your Non-Existent Boyfriend is comfortable having you in the room with him while he hangs out with friends and talks shit about sports. Then there are other cases when he’d rather not have you there, and let’s be honest, you’re not ready to have him around grandma either.

So, what happens when you don’t get an invite to a holiday event that you thought you should attend? Do you ask your Non-Existent Boyfriend for an invite? Do you explain to him that the two of you have been dating for 3 months so it’s only right you’re there with him and his friends? Do you cut him off and lose his number? Every situation is different, but one thing’s for sure—keep calm and evaluate where you are in each other’s lives so you don’t look crazy confronting him.

The last thing you want to happen, is that you lose your cool over an invitation that really held no weight. Because you don’t know the dynamics of your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s social gathering, it’s difficult to jump to conclusions as to why you should or shouldn’t be there. Have your own fun, as you’ve always had, and let your Non-Existent Boyfriend feel comfortable in knowing that you’re fine not eating his dad’s famous ribs after only dating him for 3 short months. Besides, holidays come around whether we like it or not, and you’ll have other chances to determine if this Non-Existent Boyfriend is for real or if he’s just around for a good time. Either way, control those emotions that make you want to question your destination with him and focus on simply embracing what it is (if it’s a good thing of course).

Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),


4 Responses so far.

  1. Chyna says:
    The holidays always tell the truth! Good job friend.
    • Toni says:
      Lol. Hi Chyna. Yes, holidays are the truth teller! Unless of course it’s early in the friendship, then he gets a pass..no rush there. Thanks for your comment.
  2. Mr. B says:
    Shes not invited to the cookout because she’s not my lady. Simply put. Or if she is invited she’s a trophy piece.

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