News Flash: He’s not your boyfriend– you’re just sleeping together.
Sure, you may connect and what not, but until there’s a mutual agreement that you guys are together, each of you are as single as a dollar bill.
And let’s be clear. Just because he likes sleeping with you, but doesn’t commit to you after a short while, it doesn’t make him a bad person. Sometimes you have to put on your big girl underwear and accept the fact that you slept with him for the same reasons he slept with you. He may be genuinely trying to figure you out, all while enjoying what you were WILLING to offer.
So, after a night of passionate intimacy with your Non-Existent Boyfriend, there are certain things you should NEVER say to him. You don’t want him to freak out because you just experienced a little ear-nibbling that got your toes curling in a bunch. He’ll think you’re too attached, you’re moving at high speeds and he’ll assume you’re way too needy. And let me tell you, Non-Existent Boyfriends only have one word for those kinds of women… (and it ain’t “Baby”).
Never say these things to your Non-Existent Boyfriend after intimacy:
- Where do you think this is going?/What are your intentions?
Translation: When are you ready to settle down? After tonight, you owe me.
- Do you like me?
Translation: I want you to tell me your deepest thoughts and emotions even though you’ve only known me for a month.
- I usually don’t do “this”, this early on.
Translation: I always do this. I just don’t want you to think badly of me. That might freak you out! And me out! Then I’ll go crazy if you walk away after this!
- When’s the last time you slept with someone before me?
Translation: Please tell me you’re celibate. I promise I won’t go crazy.
- You wanna come to [INSERT FAMILY/FRIEND FUNCTION]?
Translation: I know you don’t know me extremely well, and we have no title, but do you want to meet your future mother-in-law and my future Maid of Honor?
Either way you slice it, your Non-Existent Boyfriend NEVER wants to hear these things after putting it down. Go with what’s happening in the present moment and control those emotions that’ll have you prematurely throwing red flags on your own plays. NEVER pressure your Non-Existent Boyfriend to move on your terms after sex, NEVER convince him of who you are because he’ll learn that quickly (after sex), and NEVER dish out what you can’t take after having sex. If you know dishing your goods will have you all mushy after words, then DON’T take it there– simple.
Until next time, keep calm and enjoy the ride with him… (no pun intended).
Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),