Just when you thought women were the only ones who gossiped with each other, you were wrong. Non-Existent Boyfriends across the world talk with each other about the crazy things women do. (Yes, it’s true).
Your Non-Existent Boyfriend may not discuss you 24/7 with his friends, but he SURE will bring you up the moment you show that other side.
Nothing’s worse than acting crazy over a man who you can’t even claim yet. What ‘s even worse, is a guy that has to tell his friends about your last crazy stunt and you having the reputation that you can’t keep it together.
There are tons of reasons why reasons why your Non-Existent Boyfriend shares your crazy behaviors with his friends, and here’s why:
Who DOESN’T love good laughs over drinks on a Friday night? Your Non-Existent Boyfriend tells his friends about your over-emotional behaviors so he can get a good chuckle out of it—really. He’ll wait to get around his friends and talk about the time you created a fake social media account, and requested his friendship so you can flirt and/or snoop on him. Don’t take for granted that Non-Existent Boyfriends can be a little less clever than you. They can still recognize “crazy” from a mile away and make you the butt of their Friday night jokes.
Your Non-Existent Boyfriend will tell his friends about the time you showed up at his job/house unannounced, because he is SCARED. While your Non-Existent MAY be strong enough to take you down in an arm wrestle fight, he won’t take lightly you showing up where he works or lives without an invite. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend has heard other horror stories of crazy chicks and doesn’t want to end up dating a stalking, obsessive, woman. He’ll tell his friends about your potential predator behavior so in the event that something REALLY goes down, your Non-Existent Boyfriend may need his buddy to vouch for him while he fills out a restraining order.
If your Non-Existent boyfriend really likes you and is considering taking things to the next level, he’ll tell his friends about you. He’ll specifically tell them that you keep pocket dialing him on purpose and sending “accidental texts” once a month. He confides in his close friends, just like you do, and he’ll want some approval when it comes to choosing his partner. He’ll share one of your crazy episodes so his friends can gauge if this is something he can handle later down the line.
Your Non-Existent Boyfriend has more than just a black wallet like his best friend. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend shares your overly-emotional crazy behaviors to find common ground with his boys. If you believe most men are alike and behave the same way, your Non-Existent Boyfriend thinks no differently. He’ll believe all women act and do the same things when they’re too emotionally invested in a new guy. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend will come together like the Boy Scouts with his friends so they can discuss what they have in common with single women across America. Finding commonalities doesn’t mean your Non-Existent wants to necessarily deal with what you do, but rather, he’ll take a much longer time to commit because after all, he’ll believe all single women get crazy after a while, right?
See, your Non-Existent Boyfriend has a dire need to vent to his friends, just like you do. There’s no way you can behave in irrational ways and your Non-Existent Boyfriend has nothing to say about it. If you break down and sob to him after only dating him for a month, he’s telling his friends. Oh, and telling him you had three back-to-back dreams about him (and all three dreams were you two getting married), he’s telling. And if you THOUGHT constantly leaving your jewelry on his nightstand wasn’t a crazy move he’s seen before, guess again– he’s telling that too.
Control your ridiculous emotions while you’re beginning to date your Non-Existent Boyfriend, and avoid being the hilarious topic of his discussion at Happy Hour. He may not take you seriously after a short while, and he’ll hit the door so not to deal with all the crazy tricks you have going on.
Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),