Yes, it is the truth!
This, by far, seems to be one of the most common dilemmas brought to my attention by single women alike. You get rid of that guy in your life, for whatever reason, and suddenly he creeps back in like a pimple you haven’t seen since junior high.
That’s not the biggest deal about it though. The problem that arises, is when you have to control resurfaced, unfiltered, unrealistic emotions for a man you thought would be non-existent forever!
Here’s the thing: Going back to an ex-boyfriend without establishing a solid title, is tricky in and of itself… no questions about it. But acting out on unstable emotions for a man who didn’t work out the first time, is way too complicated, and don’t be surprised if you see yourself slipping back into “crazy” mode!
Here’s what I tell all single women who are dating a Non-Existent Boyfriend that’s actually their ex– take it in stride and regard every situation with a grain of salt until each of you can go your separate ways or make a commitment again.
Now for some, it’s no big deal backtracking and making an ex a new Non-Existent Boyfriend. For others, this is a no-no, and that’s fine too.
Whatever your story is, if your Non-Existent Boyfriend is a thing from the past, the same rules to controlling your crazy, apply. Knowing him doesn’t authorize you to become flippant and unruly in your emotions. It also doesn’t authorize you to look through his phone, search his social media pages or say things you’ll regret… (ain’t nobody got time for old, crazy behaviors).
There’s no need in going crazy and getting your emotions riled up for someone you had experiences with in the past. You’ve been down this road before, and that’s why it’s more important now than ever to regulate your thoughts and actions. He knows, for the most part, all the negatives he needs to know about you, and you know the same about him. Reliving crazy moments and behaving bizarrely in your emotions will only cause turmoil with your ex and may have you hating a man you THOUGHT was gone for good.
Also remember, you HAD your chance to be a girlfriend when he was your man (whether you were a good one, or a bad one). Now that he’s not your man anymore, “girlfriend” things go out the window and now you’re starting from scratch. Until each of you determine whether you’ll date seriously again, your ex is the new Non-Existent Boyfriend and you have to ACT like he is.
Until next time, try and meet another Non-Existent Boyfriend and pair him to your ex– you may not even WANT that ol’ thing back once you make the comparison and see things clearly.
Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach)