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5 Phone Numbers to Delete Before Your Non-Existent Boyfriend Thinks You’re (Really) Crazy!

Grab your cute little phone, scroll through those unnecessary contacts, and delete the following people NOW, before your Non-Existent Boyfriend thinks you’ve lost it!

Ready??? Let’s begin:


The first phone number to delete from your phone book is,

  1. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s Work Phone Number

If your Non-Existent Boyfriend didn’t give you his work phone number, you shouldn’t have it in your phone! You knowing where your Non-Existent Boyfriend works, doesn’t privy you to storing his place of employment in your phone book.  Him seeing or knowing you have this number, suggests that if you can’t reach him on his personal phone, you’ll pull him from his lunch break with his boss, (pretty scary). Oh! And if he calls you from his work number, only save it if he suggests the idea to you. His desire to call you from his work phone STILL doesn’t grant you the action to save it and use it; let him be comfortable with that call—pun intended.

The second number to get rid of is,

  1. A Dating App/Site Customer Service Phone Number

Never have this number saved. If your Non-Existent Boyfriend sees that you have Tinder, E-Harmony or Plenty of Fish customer service on speed dial, he’ll think you’re a serial dater, and not in a good way. Using a dating app/site should be light and fun until it calls for seriousness. However, storing the customer service number to these apps/sites is a sure sign that you’re there to be the guru of dating and have your way with the men you swipe right to.

Third on this list is,

  1. His Cell Phone Provider

If you’re locked in with Sprint and your Non-Existent Boyfriend has ties to T-Mobile, why in the hell would you be storing and calling Sprint? Don’t give your Non-Existent Boyfriend signs that you may secretly hack into his phone records by storing his cell phone provider. Unless your Non-Existent Boyfriend recommends an outrageous deal his cell phone provider is offering, and wants you to reap the benefits, stay away. Furthermore, if you, by chance, happen to want to switch over to the same cell phone provider as him, Google it when you need it. After all, T-Mobile won’t be calling you to hang out and party, so there’s no need to lock them in prematurely.

Numero four is,

  1. Your Local Bridal Shop

If you were not recently in a wedding that required the purchase of a dress from your local bridal shop, don’t give your Non-Existent Boyfriend the idea that you want to get married and already have your dress picked out. This is just flat-out weird. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend will think you’re crazy if he knows you have a blueprint of your big day and you don’t even have a partner. It instantly lets your Non-Existent Boyfriend know you’re already at the finish line and whether your future husband likes it, your wedding colors WILL BE blue and silver!!

Last but certainly not least is,

  1. His Ex, Best Friend or Sibling’s Number

Do I even need to explain this one??? This is your Non-Existent Boyfriend. He is the guy you have no attachment to (technically) and the guy you’re casually dating. If you have his ex’s number (awkward), his best friend’s number (weird) or his sibling’s number (and you’re not even in a relationship), press the “delete contact” button fast! If your Non-Existent Boyfriend gives you any of the said numbers for a specific reason, fine. Otherwise….what in thee hell do you need these numbers for?? Not only is this bizarre to say the least, but you’ll freak your Non-Existent Boyfriend out and he’ll immediately write you off as the “crazy” chick.


That’s it.

Go through your list of contacts and eliminate these numbers before your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s wandering eyes get a look at them. He WILL think you are crazy if he sees any familiar digits you shouldn’t have stored, and I mean, can you blame him?

Until next time, do some phone book cleaning and only worry about keeping your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s number while you have him here.

Your favorite blogger (and “Crazy” coach),


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