Dammit! I didn’t want to have to go here, but by now you know the only way I can keep it, is REAL!
As much as you’d like to blame EVERYTHING on all of your Non-Existent Boyfriends as to why you’re single, you have to accept some of the blame for your single rut. Some Non-Existent Boyfriends CAN be jerks, I know. But there are times you do CRAZY things that keep you in the “Single Zone”.
The one CRAZY thing I’m talking about in particular, is your habit of letting your Non-Existent Boyfriend court you through text! While you may be denying that you do this, you’re probably more guilty of it than you’d imagine! It starts with a simple “hello” from him when you first meet, and by the time you know it, you’re getting to know each other through stupid emojis, hashtags and GIFs that supplement your dry humor.
What’s worse, your Non-Existent Boyfriend is aware that he can do better than what he’s doing to court you, but because you’re not pumping the brakes, he’s dating you full speed through his phone.
Here are the top 3 reasons why your crazy habit of letting your Non-Existent Boyfriend court you through text is keeping you single:
1. You don’t demand/require more.
Why would ANY of your Non-Existent Boyfriends jump to take you out, spend money and plan dates over the phone, when your actions show him that that’s not important to you? Sure, a man should desire taking someone of your caliber out, but allowing your Non-Existent Boyfriend to ask you 21 questions through text message, all while sending dick shots, proves you’re okay with his electronic attempts. From day 1, let him know you’re more of the talking type. It doesn’t mean you’ll talk his ear off, but assure him that you’re always down to hear sexy testosterone through the phone after a long day’s work.
2. When your Non-Existent Boyfriend texts, you jump!
There’s nothing more crazy than being right by the phone to answer your Non-Existent Boyfriend’s text message that you’ve been waiting on all day. He texts you at 6:00, and your response is delivered and read by 6:02! These sort of acts keep you single because your Non-Existent Boyfriend assumes you have nothing else (or no one else) to occupy your time but HIM. And while you’re probably thinking, “Who cares. I’m not here to play games!” I hate to break the news to you, it’s a freaking game until you and your Non-Existent Boyfriend get serious. Now tread lightly, dating is not a whole bunch of silly, little immature gestures, but allow your Non-Existent Boyfriend to think about you from time-to-time before you hurriedly text him back. Besides, you shouldn’t be texting while driving, texting while at work or texting while you’re extremely occupied in a non-emergency situation; let him wait until you’re free before you text him back, he’ll survive.
3. Your Non-Existent Boyfriend thinks you’re used to being viewed as “weak”.
This one may sting a little, but letting any man get to know you through text message, sends signals that you may be weak and you’re used to bullshit courting. The moment your Non-Existent Boyfriend sees that he can hold a conversation with you through text throughout the entire day, he’ll know for sure you’re the girl who’s okay with mediocrity and you won’t speak up to tell him, “call me.” Allowing your Non-Existent Boyfriend to court you through text message, shows a sign of vulnerability on your end which he simply reads as WEAK! He’ll know you’re looking for someone and someone fast! And because no guy wants a girl he can simply spit game to through the phone and she accepts it, you’ll remain single longer than you expected. (Let your new guy of interest know that your idea of “twiddling your thumbs”, was watching reality TV and drinking wine from your Controlling Your Crazy glass.)
So you see, text messaging has it perks; we can all agree to that. But when you meet a guy and he sparks your interest, let him actually use his phone by putting his mouth to it and using words. You deserve the world! Part of that “world” is actually knowing your Non-Existent Boyfriend through face-to-face meetups and good conversation. Until next time, put that new guy to the test, and see if he’s ready and available to date like we did in the 80s.
Your favorite blogger (and only “Crazy Coach”),