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How Crazy Do You Become Once You Learn Your New Non-Existent Boyfriend is Still Friends with His (Stupid) Ex?

Just when you were beginning to believe that your new Non-Existent Boyfriend put his past behind him, his obnoxious and annoying ex rears her ugly head into his Instagram comments—(dammit!). And just when YOU thought you left your petty ways in the past, the temptation to stalk IG pages and ask your new Non-Existent Boyfriend trick questions now crosses your inquisitive mind.

For some single woman daters, the friendship between her new Non-Existent Boyfriend and his ex poses no threat. For other women, that friendship brings on an unknown tension that could be easily called “crazy” by her friends and new Non-Existent Boyfriend.

Many single women who are looking to settle down, sometimes go onto the dating scene with the expectation that single men have somehow let go of old friends and all exes. This may be true for some, but there are plenty of men who keep a casual rapport with their exes and they’re not ready to change that for a woman they’re just getting to know.

For women with the kind of mindset that gets flustered by the thought of exes still speaking to their new Non-Existent Boyfriend, they usually lead themselves to crazy thinking down the road; no bueno! One thing’s for sure, you can’t force your new Non-Existent Boyfriend to stop casually speaking to his ex. The second for sure thing is, you couldn’t stop him from messing around with his ex if he still wanted to. The reality is, your new Non-Existent Boyfriend must come to his own dating realizations and make decisions for himself. You and him are beginning to start something very new, so he wouldn’t want you to impose boyfriend expectations when he hasn’t gotten into a commitment with you yet.

If your new Non-Existent Boyfriend is feeling you, and the two of you are mutually on the same page, you don’t have to worry about an ex inboxing him on Facebook. He’ll distance himself from her accordingly because after all, he’s feeling YOU and probably wants something fresh!

So, the question remains: How crazy do you become once you learn your new Non-Existent Boyfriend is still friends with his ex? Do you begin searching his ex’s social media page for clues that they may be more than what he’s saying? Do you create a fake social media page and request his ex’s friendship in hopes that you learn about her? Or do you take a screenshot of the Googled picture you found of his ex and pick out all her flaws? Whatever act you usually take on, don’t do it moving forward; you don’t want to ruin what could be a good thing.

I can’t stress enough to have fun while you’re dating. Your only concern with your new Non-Existent Boyfriend should be how he is as a dater and how he’s treating you. Honesty about him and his ex should be a given, and if it’s not, there’s ALWAYS a sign that shows you he might be full of shit. Worrying about an ex you know nothing about, will only drive you to do things you’ll regret later. It makes no sense to get your emotions in a rut based off something you see, hear or think, especially if it appears innocent.

Now, if you run into a situation that feels uncomfortable, (i.e. his ex-always calling/texting him, his ex always writing suggestive messages on his social media page) then you can evaluate how you’ll have a controlled discussion with your new Non-Existent Boyfriend, simply discussing his take on friendships with exes. However, don’t let a conversation like this spiral out of control. (Move with caution!)

All-in-all don’t let your emotions get the best of you over a woman who’s no longer with the guy who’s feeling you. It’s not emotionally healthy and from experience, it damn sure ain’t worth worrying about. Your new Non-Existent Boyfriend has the hots for YOU, and you should allow him to smother you with fun, chivalry and kindness; (TRUST ME, he’ll forget all about the ex that you aren’t even worried about!)

Your favorite blogger (and only “Crazy Coach”),


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